Did I mention the Transportation Industry is Retarded?

How do people become retarded? I'll tell you....by doing stupid things. My company, happens to include a large group of those people.

I'll give it some slack, it's a newer company, young, inexperienced, still working out the kinks. But guess what, the people running this company claim to have all this industry experience, so why are they doing things so stupid? I don't know, and I'm not going to try and figure it out, I'm just going to paint a picture to depict the level of stupidity.

First off, I'm in sales. Here's what I know about being in sales: companies should try to get the most production and effort out of their sales people as possible to maximize potential sales and revenue. Motiviation is of course a factor, but that should be somewhat assumed to exist upon hiring. A wise man once said "you can't motivate your sales people, you can only hire motivated sales people". My company never heard this saying. So what does a company who never had the opportunity to gain this wisdom do? They try to motivate you. Managers standing over your shoulder, scheduling specific hour blocks to force you to turn off email and all other applications to just make calls. These "call blocks" aren't a terrible idea, it's a great way to focus and manage your time. But the time you schedule the call blocks leaves room for.....you guessed it, retarded. I work the Northeast region, primarily New Jersey (I love these people, especially the women). They give it to you straight, no bullshit, no passive-aggressive friendly rejection, and they actually talk to you like a person and not a salesman. Take that midwest businesses: fuck you. Back on track....if I'm working the east coast, that's also known as Eastern Time Zone. So my manager schedules the blocks for 10 AM CST and 3 PM CST. Great idea, can someone tell me what time that is in Eastern Time Zone? Yes, lunch time and quitting time, since they are 1 hour ahead. So we're going to focus our calling at the least likely time people will pick up the phone. Genius is opposite of retarded.



Printing off stuff = retarded.

Let me begin by saying that the computer and internet are by far the best technological advancements of the 20th Century, and all businesses in the world use them. So what does my company make us do? Print things. Maybe I'm spoiled from my previous Fortune 500 Environment, but when working there I was essentially working a productive day without paper. This is known as "paperless" which most large companies have already attained the status of, and if they haven't, they're working on it right now. You can save probably thousands of dollars on the paper you don't have to use, printing toner ink, and the recycling program you're paying for. With a rough economy, these costs are significant to cut right now. So what does a retarded company do? They want to make sure you have 15 or so calls first thing in the morning, so the day before, you have to PRINT off a list of the 15 customers you're going to call and leave it on your desk so the bossman can see that you did it. How old am I? I feel like Mrs. Greene is back at her dictator antics in 2nd grade where they make you do stupid tedious things just so you can develop instruction-following-skills and to make her job easier. News flash: You Can Pull Up Things On a Computer That Would Otherwise Be Printed On Paper! Why don't I just turn on my computer in the morning, pull up my list of customers, and then call them? Because that would be less retarded than printing a piece of paper off the night before and using that. Also, you can't copy/paste from paper, since it's not in the computer, making my job less productive.

A/R....Accounts Receivable.....should be called Bitch Work

Again, a key element of a sales force is...Productivity. Ultimately, you should just want your sales force making calls to new and current clients, pushing products and services, and most importantly: Closing Deals. So what does a retarded company do if they wanted to decrease productivity? They make you do your own invoices and accounts receivable work. I have to dedicate half a day every Tuesday to harassing people who I had to beg in the first place to do business with me. I harass them for money. "Yeah Bob, your invoice is at 31 days, pay me now, do it, after all my company is holding me hostage and won't pay me my overdeserved 5% commission until you cough up a check." Not only do I have to be a dick to a guy whose ass I had to kiss just to get the business (again, rough economy, no business comes easy these days), but I'm also decreasing my productivity, because the time I spend talking about A/R bullshit is time I could be calling other customers, closing deals, making $$$ for the company. Not being paid until customers pay in is a really raw fucking deal. I don't make shit for commission % anyways. However, I can admit to being in situations of whether or not to cut my rate on a shipment and saying to my coworker "It's only 75 cents out of my pocket, fuck it, why not?" (I then throw 3 quarters on the table and watch my coworkers wrestle eachother for them all over the desk). Not only that, but again, rough economy = people not paying invoices for 45, 75, 95 days. So after I sell you something, my company won't compensate me until the month after you pay, which potentially could be 4 months later (if it takes the customer over 120 days to pay, I don't get compensated at all). Retarded.

I'll leave you with a very sad, but true, statement: It probably isn't any less retarded for sales people at any other company right now. If that doesn't sink you into a hole of depression, I don't know what will.