How do people become retarded? I'll tell you....by doing stupid things. My company, happens to include a large group of those people.
I'll give it some slack, it's a newer company, young, inexperienced, still working out the kinks. But guess what, the people running this company claim to have all this industry experience, so why are they doing things so stupid? I don't know, and I'm not going to try and figure it out, I'm just going to paint a picture to depict the level of stupidity.
First off, I'm in sales. Here's what I know about being in sales: companies should try to get the most production and effort out of their sales people as possible to maximize potential sales and revenue. Motiviation is of course a factor, but that should be somewhat assumed to exist upon hiring. A wise man once said "you can't motivate your sales people, you can only hire motivated sales people". My company never heard this saying. So what does a company who never had the opportunity to gain this wisdom do? They try to motivate you. Managers standing over your shoulder, scheduling specific hour blocks to force you to turn off email and all other applications to just make calls. These "call blocks" aren't a terrible idea, it's a great way to focus and manage your time. But the time you schedule the call blocks leaves room for.....you guessed it, retarded. I work the Northeast region, primarily New Jersey (I love these people, especially the women). They give it to you straight, no bullshit, no passive-aggressive friendly rejection, and they actually talk to you like a person and not a salesman. Take that midwest businesses: fuck you. Back on track....if I'm working the east coast, that's also known as Eastern Time Zone. So my manager schedules the blocks for 10 AM CST and 3 PM CST. Great idea, can someone tell me what time that is in Eastern Time Zone? Yes, lunch time and quitting time, since they are 1 hour ahead. So we're going to focus our calling at the least likely time people will pick up the phone. Genius is opposite of retarded.
Printing off stuff = retarded.
Let me begin by saying that the computer and internet are by far the best technological advancements of the 20th Century, and all businesses in the world use them. So what does my company make us do? Print things. Maybe I'm spoiled from my previous Fortune 500 Environment, but when working there I was essentially working a productive day without paper. This is known as "paperless" which most large companies have already attained the status of, and if they haven't, they're working on it right now. You can save probably thousands of dollars on the paper you don't have to use, printing toner ink, and the recycling program you're paying for. With a rough economy, these costs are significant to cut right now. So what does a retarded company do? They want to make sure you have 15 or so calls first thing in the morning, so the day before, you have to PRINT off a list of the 15 customers you're going to call and leave it on your desk so the bossman can see that you did it. How old am I? I feel like Mrs. Greene is back at her dictator antics in 2nd grade where they make you do stupid tedious things just so you can develop instruction-following-skills and to make her job easier. News flash: You Can Pull Up Things On a Computer That Would Otherwise Be Printed On Paper! Why don't I just turn on my computer in the morning, pull up my list of customers, and then call them? Because that would be less retarded than printing a piece of paper off the night before and using that. Also, you can't copy/paste from paper, since it's not in the computer, making my job less productive.
A/R....Accounts Receivable.....should be called Bitch Work
Again, a key element of a sales force is...Productivity. Ultimately, you should just want your sales force making calls to new and current clients, pushing products and services, and most importantly: Closing Deals. So what does a retarded company do if they wanted to decrease productivity? They make you do your own invoices and accounts receivable work. I have to dedicate half a day every Tuesday to harassing people who I had to beg in the first place to do business with me. I harass them for money. "Yeah Bob, your invoice is at 31 days, pay me now, do it, after all my company is holding me hostage and won't pay me my overdeserved 5% commission until you cough up a check." Not only do I have to be a dick to a guy whose ass I had to kiss just to get the business (again, rough economy, no business comes easy these days), but I'm also decreasing my productivity, because the time I spend talking about A/R bullshit is time I could be calling other customers, closing deals, making $$$ for the company. Not being paid until customers pay in is a really raw fucking deal. I don't make shit for commission % anyways. However, I can admit to being in situations of whether or not to cut my rate on a shipment and saying to my coworker "It's only 75 cents out of my pocket, fuck it, why not?" (I then throw 3 quarters on the table and watch my coworkers wrestle eachother for them all over the desk). Not only that, but again, rough economy = people not paying invoices for 45, 75, 95 days. So after I sell you something, my company won't compensate me until the month after you pay, which potentially could be 4 months later (if it takes the customer over 120 days to pay, I don't get compensated at all). Retarded.
I'll leave you with a very sad, but true, statement: It probably isn't any less retarded for sales people at any other company right now. If that doesn't sink you into a hole of depression, I don't know what will.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Metal - why do I listen to it, what does it mean?
Metal...why do they call it that? Maybe the weight of most metals being high density and weighing a lot of lbs? Maybe stoners used the term "that's heavy man", or some guy in some movie or book or song used the term. No one knows why it's called Metal or Heavy Metal, but it exists....thank god.
A lot of people have asked me "why do you listen to that crap?" I've been a Hard rock/Heavy Metal fan for the majority of my life. When I was a little booger I listened to my share of Michael Jackson, MC Hammer, and The New Kids On The Block. But then I developed a taste for something more.
Now I got pretty into the whole "grunge scene" in middle school. I wore my flannel shirts like everybody else, and I became a fan of bands like The Offspring, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, and the everlasting Nirvana. Now these weren't Metal bands, but they're significant because they're part of the revolution against the ridiculous joke of Metal bands in the 80's. The hair bands of dudes that looked like chicks. They were a heavier sound. It wasn't until late middle school that I was introduced to Metallica. I consider them my gateway band(meaning they are the band that turned me over to the darkside, i.e. metal genre.) Soon after, the grunge sound just wasn't heavy enough anymore. I liked it, enjoyed it, but it wasn't enough. Metallica filled the void, and introduced me to how amazing a concert can be. Their live shows are known as one of the best in the world. Hard not to draw in an adolescent male.
But after a couple years THAT wasn't enough either. I had heard a band called PANTERA earlier in my grunge days and didn't appreciate it. But as years went on I found myself craving a heavier sound and they quickly became a favorite. Now I listen to even heavier bands, particularly I favor the "Metalcore" genre, which is defined as: a fusion genre incorporating elements of hardcore punk and extreme metal. Right now is a very exciting time for this style of music, a lot like the classic rock rave in the late 60's and early 70's. They're calling this era the New Wave of American Heavy Metal. The NWOBHM back in the 60's included bands like Led Zepplin and Black Sabbath, the two supposed founders of the "metal genre". Now you have a wave of metalcore bands majorily from the United States, particularly the upper-east coast/New England area. If I had heard these bands earlier in my lifetime I would not have enjoyed it, but now I can't see how I lived without it.
Underground: Metal prides itself on NOT being a part of pop culture. It's difficult for many metal bands to sustain a long and successful career in part because the financial rewards and popular fame and recognition is difficult to reach with a heavy, loud, distorted sound. "Selling out" is a term in reference to a band that changes their sound and their musical approach to appeal to a larger market. By doing this they gain more fans, get more radio time, hope to sell more records, do music videos, sell more singles, etc. This is looked down upon many hardcore metal followers as the metal community is very set on being against the grain, with the grain being popularity. Bands included in the "Nu-Metal" genre are criticized of this on a more continuous basis as their sound incorporates grunge, alternative, funk, and hip-hop elements in addition to heavy metal influences. In my opinion: I don't give a fuck who listens to it, and I don't care who likes it, or how much radio time it gets. If I like it, I'm puting it on my ipod(now iphone) and listening to it. If you want to judge me, or anyone else for that matter, by what they listen to, then you have serious problems. This is one of my biggest pet peeves of metal fans: many are unable to respect other people's preferences in music and are highly critical, yet these same people are hypocritical in the fact that if you claim to like their preferred music they get very hostile and defensive. Many of these same people only claim to enjoy this type of music for their own personal internal insecurities or rebellious motives.
The big question: "How can you listen to that shit? Isn't it all screaming and devil worshiping music?" These types of questions only lead me to generalize you as a person and define you as ignorant.
Really? Do I look like I worship the devil? Who does that, really? Metal is tough to define because there's so many levels and genres, subgenres, and fusion genres that it's just too damn hard to label everything. However, one of these sub-genres is Black Metal or Black Death Metal. These bands tend to originate in Scandinavia, particularly Norway. Norway is a very strict catholic nation, and unlike the US Constitution they do NOT separate church and state. So if you were to rebel against a government and demonstrate your adversity like so many do in this country, you would choose the opposition. In Norway's case, they worship satan and burn churches. Do I listen to them? No. Black metal tends to lack melody and I can't relate to the lyrics, especially since I don't follow any religion, especially satanism.
Screaming: Think of a guitar. The metal sound includes a heavy bass, constant bass kick beats, and distorted sounding guitar riffs. The screaming, growling, whatever you want to call it, is the vocalist's way of distorting their voice to mesh with the metal sound. Fun Fact: Many metalcore vocalists can sing clearly just as well as anyone, if not better, and many of them do in some of their songs, or during the chorus of their songs.
Tolerance: I wasn't a fan of some of the vocalist's screams or vocal styles when I first started listening to the metalcore genre. In fact, I would just block it out through selective hearing and focus on the guitar melodies and drum rythms. Eventually I was desensitized to the vocal style, I was able to look past it, appreciate it, and now in some instances I even prefer it.
Lyrics: It's easy to assume metal is all about killing, murder, satanism, anger, whatever negative thoughts you associate. I've already covered satanism, but killing? Not so much, at least not what I listen to. Maybe there's references to death or taking a life out of madness or anger, but more of the music I listen to is emotionally influenced. Metal also tends to depict a certain story or event. Example: Creeping Death by Metallica. They were watching the movie "Ten Commandments" and it inspired them to write a song about the movie. An example of an emotionally focused band would be Killswitch Engage. I don't know how they came up with the name, but this band sings a lot about love, lost relationships, and other emotional themes. I just find it hypocritical and funny when people accuse Metal as this terrible genre as only negative and destructive music. What's rap music then? I don't punch bitches, pimp hos, carry a piece so I can bust a cap, and sling dope to my homies. The difference: social acceptance. PART of the hip-hop genre (not making the same mistake others make about metal, knowing only a group of hip hop artists lyrics include "supersoaking hos".) is socially accepted because they GLAMORIZE the negative themes. Treating women with disrespect, drug use and trafficing, and shooing people with guns is made to look cool. At least metal is raw about it their negative themes...there's no glamorizing.
Short answer: Metal is a such a broad scope of music that it's tough to define or generalize an entire genre or group of artists to a single description of screaming devil worshipers. Music is an art form, like anything else, it's open to interpretation, and should be allowed to be enjoyed by any who wish to do so. Metal is very misunderstood, and you can't blame anything but the genre for it, as it likes it that way. So, if you want to broaden your scope, listen to some heavier bands, check out a metal concert. If not, no one fucking cares, just don't talk about things you know nothing about.
A lot of people have asked me "why do you listen to that crap?" I've been a Hard rock/Heavy Metal fan for the majority of my life. When I was a little booger I listened to my share of Michael Jackson, MC Hammer, and The New Kids On The Block. But then I developed a taste for something more.
Now I got pretty into the whole "grunge scene" in middle school. I wore my flannel shirts like everybody else, and I became a fan of bands like The Offspring, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, and the everlasting Nirvana. Now these weren't Metal bands, but they're significant because they're part of the revolution against the ridiculous joke of Metal bands in the 80's. The hair bands of dudes that looked like chicks. They were a heavier sound. It wasn't until late middle school that I was introduced to Metallica. I consider them my gateway band(meaning they are the band that turned me over to the darkside, i.e. metal genre.) Soon after, the grunge sound just wasn't heavy enough anymore. I liked it, enjoyed it, but it wasn't enough. Metallica filled the void, and introduced me to how amazing a concert can be. Their live shows are known as one of the best in the world. Hard not to draw in an adolescent male.
But after a couple years THAT wasn't enough either. I had heard a band called PANTERA earlier in my grunge days and didn't appreciate it. But as years went on I found myself craving a heavier sound and they quickly became a favorite. Now I listen to even heavier bands, particularly I favor the "Metalcore" genre, which is defined as: a fusion genre incorporating elements of hardcore punk and extreme metal. Right now is a very exciting time for this style of music, a lot like the classic rock rave in the late 60's and early 70's. They're calling this era the New Wave of American Heavy Metal. The NWOBHM back in the 60's included bands like Led Zepplin and Black Sabbath, the two supposed founders of the "metal genre". Now you have a wave of metalcore bands majorily from the United States, particularly the upper-east coast/New England area. If I had heard these bands earlier in my lifetime I would not have enjoyed it, but now I can't see how I lived without it.
Underground: Metal prides itself on NOT being a part of pop culture. It's difficult for many metal bands to sustain a long and successful career in part because the financial rewards and popular fame and recognition is difficult to reach with a heavy, loud, distorted sound. "Selling out" is a term in reference to a band that changes their sound and their musical approach to appeal to a larger market. By doing this they gain more fans, get more radio time, hope to sell more records, do music videos, sell more singles, etc. This is looked down upon many hardcore metal followers as the metal community is very set on being against the grain, with the grain being popularity. Bands included in the "Nu-Metal" genre are criticized of this on a more continuous basis as their sound incorporates grunge, alternative, funk, and hip-hop elements in addition to heavy metal influences. In my opinion: I don't give a fuck who listens to it, and I don't care who likes it, or how much radio time it gets. If I like it, I'm puting it on my ipod(now iphone) and listening to it. If you want to judge me, or anyone else for that matter, by what they listen to, then you have serious problems. This is one of my biggest pet peeves of metal fans: many are unable to respect other people's preferences in music and are highly critical, yet these same people are hypocritical in the fact that if you claim to like their preferred music they get very hostile and defensive. Many of these same people only claim to enjoy this type of music for their own personal internal insecurities or rebellious motives.
The big question: "How can you listen to that shit? Isn't it all screaming and devil worshiping music?" These types of questions only lead me to generalize you as a person and define you as ignorant.
Really? Do I look like I worship the devil? Who does that, really? Metal is tough to define because there's so many levels and genres, subgenres, and fusion genres that it's just too damn hard to label everything. However, one of these sub-genres is Black Metal or Black Death Metal. These bands tend to originate in Scandinavia, particularly Norway. Norway is a very strict catholic nation, and unlike the US Constitution they do NOT separate church and state. So if you were to rebel against a government and demonstrate your adversity like so many do in this country, you would choose the opposition. In Norway's case, they worship satan and burn churches. Do I listen to them? No. Black metal tends to lack melody and I can't relate to the lyrics, especially since I don't follow any religion, especially satanism.
Screaming: Think of a guitar. The metal sound includes a heavy bass, constant bass kick beats, and distorted sounding guitar riffs. The screaming, growling, whatever you want to call it, is the vocalist's way of distorting their voice to mesh with the metal sound. Fun Fact: Many metalcore vocalists can sing clearly just as well as anyone, if not better, and many of them do in some of their songs, or during the chorus of their songs.
Tolerance: I wasn't a fan of some of the vocalist's screams or vocal styles when I first started listening to the metalcore genre. In fact, I would just block it out through selective hearing and focus on the guitar melodies and drum rythms. Eventually I was desensitized to the vocal style, I was able to look past it, appreciate it, and now in some instances I even prefer it.
Lyrics: It's easy to assume metal is all about killing, murder, satanism, anger, whatever negative thoughts you associate. I've already covered satanism, but killing? Not so much, at least not what I listen to. Maybe there's references to death or taking a life out of madness or anger, but more of the music I listen to is emotionally influenced. Metal also tends to depict a certain story or event. Example: Creeping Death by Metallica. They were watching the movie "Ten Commandments" and it inspired them to write a song about the movie. An example of an emotionally focused band would be Killswitch Engage. I don't know how they came up with the name, but this band sings a lot about love, lost relationships, and other emotional themes. I just find it hypocritical and funny when people accuse Metal as this terrible genre as only negative and destructive music. What's rap music then? I don't punch bitches, pimp hos, carry a piece so I can bust a cap, and sling dope to my homies. The difference: social acceptance. PART of the hip-hop genre (not making the same mistake others make about metal, knowing only a group of hip hop artists lyrics include "supersoaking hos".) is socially accepted because they GLAMORIZE the negative themes. Treating women with disrespect, drug use and trafficing, and shooing people with guns is made to look cool. At least metal is raw about it their negative themes...there's no glamorizing.
Short answer: Metal is a such a broad scope of music that it's tough to define or generalize an entire genre or group of artists to a single description of screaming devil worshipers. Music is an art form, like anything else, it's open to interpretation, and should be allowed to be enjoyed by any who wish to do so. Metal is very misunderstood, and you can't blame anything but the genre for it, as it likes it that way. So, if you want to broaden your scope, listen to some heavier bands, check out a metal concert. If not, no one fucking cares, just don't talk about things you know nothing about.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Attention: Joe Mauer is worth more than the stimulus package and can save America
Washington - Joe Mauer, catcher for the Minnesota Twins, was recently estimated to be valued over 900 billion dollars by the congressional budget office. This estimate was reached by comparing Joe Mauer's economic value to the recently passed economic stimulus package, which cost almost 800 billion dollars. According to President Obama, this package would create or save approximately 600,000 jobs. The CBO estimated that Joe Mauer is responsible for the creation of about 125,000 jobs annually, causing a permanent increase in employment by about 720,000 jobs.
Because of this, the CBO has passed unusual legislative recommendations along to congress and the Obama administration.
CBO director Douglas W. Elmendorf said on Monday, "if the Obama administration wishes to consider a second stimulus package, they should seriously consider eschewing all public spending programs and infrastructure improvements, and really focus on America's greatest asset, Joe Mauer." The CBO has estimated that the US government could clone Joe Mauer at a cost of about 20 billion per Joe after an up front investment of about 80 billion dollars over two years.
Republican House Minority leader John Boener responded immediately to the findings. "While the Republican party generally opposes genetic experimentation and all forms of human cloning, based on the evidence here, we would have to fully support such a plan. As a party standing for family values and wholesome morals, we could not find a more admirable American than Joe Mauer. We believe anyone standing against adding additional Joe Mauer's into the economy to be un-American."
Some critics raised concerns that other American men would be devalued by the excess of Joe Mauer's. Lawmakers have planed to add an equal amount of cloned women into the economy to offset the lower appearance of non-Joe Mauer men. These women will be a mixture of Megan Fox, capable of creating millions in entertainment dollars each after her movie 'Transformers 2' became a smash hit despite no actual outstanding qualities, and former Joe Mauer girlfriend Chelsey Cooley.
The measure, sponsored in the house by Erik Paulsen (MN-3, R) and co-sponsored in the Senate by Al Franken (MN-D) and John McCain (AZ-R), is seeing broad, bipartisan support, but is expected to face stiff opposition and perhaps a veto by President Obama, who is a White Sox fan. Obama said he was concerned by the lack of Paul Konerko and Hawk Harrelson included in the legislation. The bill is expected to have enough support, however, to override the veto in both chambers, as everyone but the douchebags from New York, south Chicago, and Boston seem to be supporting the bill.Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was optimistic about passage of the legislation, and said it will be given top congressional priority, even above that of health care reform, legislation strongly tied to the future electoral success of her party.
"We figure that having a bunch of Joe Mauer's running around has a good chance of increasing everyone's health anyway, and we expect many of the cloned Joe's to become pro-bono surgeons with their wide variety of natural talents and high levels of compassion. We also expect the Joes to lower carbon emissions by 25% over two years since Joe Mauer's body converts CO2 into oxygen similar to a tree."
Housing for the Joe's was expected to be a problem until the real Joe Mauer offered to spend the offseason building log cabins for all the Joes next to his in rural Minnesota.
"Me and Justin Morneau have been looking for a project for the offseason, and this seems like a good enough idea. Maybe building a few hundred thousand log cabins in a couple months will even improve my core strength and help me muscle a few more dingers over the left field wall."
Asked how he felt about becoming the savior of the US economy, Mauer simply shrugged, said "Aw Shucks," and politely offered reporters a bottle of Land-O-Lakes Grip-n-Go milk several times.
Provisions have been placed in the bill to accommodate only one special interest group: the newly formed Major League Pitchers for Hope organization. Under the law, no cloned Joes will be permitted to become major league baseball players. Said MLP4H chairmen Roy Halladay, "it just wouldn't really be fair to face Joe more than a couple times a year."
At the current rate, the first Joes are expected to come off the line in early 2011.
Because of this, the CBO has passed unusual legislative recommendations along to congress and the Obama administration.
CBO director Douglas W. Elmendorf said on Monday, "if the Obama administration wishes to consider a second stimulus package, they should seriously consider eschewing all public spending programs and infrastructure improvements, and really focus on America's greatest asset, Joe Mauer." The CBO has estimated that the US government could clone Joe Mauer at a cost of about 20 billion per Joe after an up front investment of about 80 billion dollars over two years.
Republican House Minority leader John Boener responded immediately to the findings. "While the Republican party generally opposes genetic experimentation and all forms of human cloning, based on the evidence here, we would have to fully support such a plan. As a party standing for family values and wholesome morals, we could not find a more admirable American than Joe Mauer. We believe anyone standing against adding additional Joe Mauer's into the economy to be un-American."
Some critics raised concerns that other American men would be devalued by the excess of Joe Mauer's. Lawmakers have planed to add an equal amount of cloned women into the economy to offset the lower appearance of non-Joe Mauer men. These women will be a mixture of Megan Fox, capable of creating millions in entertainment dollars each after her movie 'Transformers 2' became a smash hit despite no actual outstanding qualities, and former Joe Mauer girlfriend Chelsey Cooley.
The measure, sponsored in the house by Erik Paulsen (MN-3, R) and co-sponsored in the Senate by Al Franken (MN-D) and John McCain (AZ-R), is seeing broad, bipartisan support, but is expected to face stiff opposition and perhaps a veto by President Obama, who is a White Sox fan. Obama said he was concerned by the lack of Paul Konerko and Hawk Harrelson included in the legislation. The bill is expected to have enough support, however, to override the veto in both chambers, as everyone but the douchebags from New York, south Chicago, and Boston seem to be supporting the bill.Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was optimistic about passage of the legislation, and said it will be given top congressional priority, even above that of health care reform, legislation strongly tied to the future electoral success of her party.
"We figure that having a bunch of Joe Mauer's running around has a good chance of increasing everyone's health anyway, and we expect many of the cloned Joe's to become pro-bono surgeons with their wide variety of natural talents and high levels of compassion. We also expect the Joes to lower carbon emissions by 25% over two years since Joe Mauer's body converts CO2 into oxygen similar to a tree."
Housing for the Joe's was expected to be a problem until the real Joe Mauer offered to spend the offseason building log cabins for all the Joes next to his in rural Minnesota.
"Me and Justin Morneau have been looking for a project for the offseason, and this seems like a good enough idea. Maybe building a few hundred thousand log cabins in a couple months will even improve my core strength and help me muscle a few more dingers over the left field wall."
Asked how he felt about becoming the savior of the US economy, Mauer simply shrugged, said "Aw Shucks," and politely offered reporters a bottle of Land-O-Lakes Grip-n-Go milk several times.
Provisions have been placed in the bill to accommodate only one special interest group: the newly formed Major League Pitchers for Hope organization. Under the law, no cloned Joes will be permitted to become major league baseball players. Said MLP4H chairmen Roy Halladay, "it just wouldn't really be fair to face Joe more than a couple times a year."
At the current rate, the first Joes are expected to come off the line in early 2011.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Dear Transportation Industry: I Fucking Hate You
I've been in sales now over 3 years. I've worked hard, I make more volumes of calls than my peers, I've gained insight and skills from the successful people around me, and I've always been service and relationship-focused. Through developing long-term friendships with clients I've been tought is the path to long-term success and an easier workload and lifestyle.
Unfortunately, that does not apply in some industries, particularly the Transportation (Trucking, Logistics, Shipping) Industry. I now know why my Dad was in such a bad mood when he got home from work, which is why I did everything I could to avoid him. I would never in my life recommend anyone to work in this industry. Here is why:
1. Sales has never been a glamorous or well-respected position, but being a brokerage in this industry is basically the bottom feeder and considered to be very undeserving of respect by all other entities involved in the shipping process
2. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong
3. Everyone is a moron. Literally. Most people do not have any type of college education, let alone a large percentage barely speak the English Language. Truckers, dispatchers, customers, warehouse people....morons, all of 'em.
4. No one works in this industry because they want to.
5. Sales in this industry really isn't even sales
6. There is no loyalty, no relationships that can't go completely sour with one shipment.
7. Completely unprofessional, customers swear at you, you're expected to swear at customers, no respect for co-workers, it's a joke
8. Carriers are dicks: instead of being a valued reseller of a service and being a large part of a trucking company's revenue...they constantly find ways to screw over their brokers/customers and make a buck any way they can. They have teams of people dedicated for making up bogus reasons to charge more money.
9. People want everything now. New Jersey to California overnight? :laugh: It will cost you $7000...what? that's ridiculous? So are you...
10. One final beef I have, and I wouldn't generalize this judgment to the entire industry, but just my company: terrible management
Upper management were all fired from other trucking companies...so now they run mine :-)
Lower management, i.e. my supervisor: 23 years old, less than a year of real world work experience let alone management experience, constantly bugs me and stands over my shoulder, doesn't let me call in sick or take vacation days, asks me to work saturdays, gives my personal cellphone number out to clients, and has caused me to lose my top client on multiple occassions. If I have a brief, friendly conversation with a female co-worker he will come talk to me right after and ask me if I'm "hitting that". Despite my response of "no, just saying hi to a friend" he then feels the responsibility to tell my co-workers that I am in fact "hitting that" (For you lawyers out there, I believe this may fall under the classification of Sexual Harassment in the Workplace....I know I'm right, thank you, I'm an expert on this kinda thing, explanation following in a future blog entry).
Eventually I went crazy. We call it having a "tweak day" as this industry is so fucked up that everyone goes a little psycho once in a while. After my supervisor had asked me for literally the 7th time "do you have any loads today?" I decided to blow my top. Conversation:
Me: "Is there something I'm doing wrong?"
Supervisor: "....no"
Me: "Are you sure, you seem to be worried about my performance, are my numbers not where they need to be?"
Supervisor: "....no, you're fine"
Me: "There must be something wrong, why don't we go to your boss' office and meet with him about it, because I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong..."
Supervisor: "nothing's wrong, you're fine, don't worry"
Me: "Well then if nothing's wrong and I'm doing fine, why don't you get off my back"
Supervisor: "Well what am I supposed to do? I'm your supervisor, I have to manage you..."
Me: "What are you supposed to do? I don't know, why don't you go fuck yourself?"
Supervisor: "...."
3 months previous to this event I had requested from his boss to be assigned to a new supervisor, and he said I would be "fine". It only got worse and I lost my sanity to the point where my supervisor made me have to swear at him. Either way, I had a nice little chat with my boss's boss, he tried to bitch me out, I held my ground, and then he informed me that to punish me he would assign me to a new supervisor. I faked a dissapointed-sounding :sigh: and accepted my "punishment".
Now I have a manager who is much older, knows what he's doing, actually helps me win business, and doesn't harass me constantly, let alone tell my co-workers who I'm "hitting" or not. Life is ok, but transportation still sucks. No future, no money, just an abyss of pointless chaos and stupidity.
Unfortunately, that does not apply in some industries, particularly the Transportation (Trucking, Logistics, Shipping) Industry. I now know why my Dad was in such a bad mood when he got home from work, which is why I did everything I could to avoid him. I would never in my life recommend anyone to work in this industry. Here is why:
1. Sales has never been a glamorous or well-respected position, but being a brokerage in this industry is basically the bottom feeder and considered to be very undeserving of respect by all other entities involved in the shipping process
2. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong
3. Everyone is a moron. Literally. Most people do not have any type of college education, let alone a large percentage barely speak the English Language. Truckers, dispatchers, customers, warehouse people....morons, all of 'em.
4. No one works in this industry because they want to.
5. Sales in this industry really isn't even sales
6. There is no loyalty, no relationships that can't go completely sour with one shipment.
7. Completely unprofessional, customers swear at you, you're expected to swear at customers, no respect for co-workers, it's a joke
8. Carriers are dicks: instead of being a valued reseller of a service and being a large part of a trucking company's revenue...they constantly find ways to screw over their brokers/customers and make a buck any way they can. They have teams of people dedicated for making up bogus reasons to charge more money.
9. People want everything now. New Jersey to California overnight? :laugh: It will cost you $7000...what? that's ridiculous? So are you...
10. One final beef I have, and I wouldn't generalize this judgment to the entire industry, but just my company: terrible management
Upper management were all fired from other trucking companies...so now they run mine :-)
Lower management, i.e. my supervisor: 23 years old, less than a year of real world work experience let alone management experience, constantly bugs me and stands over my shoulder, doesn't let me call in sick or take vacation days, asks me to work saturdays, gives my personal cellphone number out to clients, and has caused me to lose my top client on multiple occassions. If I have a brief, friendly conversation with a female co-worker he will come talk to me right after and ask me if I'm "hitting that". Despite my response of "no, just saying hi to a friend" he then feels the responsibility to tell my co-workers that I am in fact "hitting that" (For you lawyers out there, I believe this may fall under the classification of Sexual Harassment in the Workplace....I know I'm right, thank you, I'm an expert on this kinda thing, explanation following in a future blog entry).
Eventually I went crazy. We call it having a "tweak day" as this industry is so fucked up that everyone goes a little psycho once in a while. After my supervisor had asked me for literally the 7th time "do you have any loads today?" I decided to blow my top. Conversation:
Me: "Is there something I'm doing wrong?"
Supervisor: "....no"
Me: "Are you sure, you seem to be worried about my performance, are my numbers not where they need to be?"
Supervisor: "....no, you're fine"
Me: "There must be something wrong, why don't we go to your boss' office and meet with him about it, because I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong..."
Supervisor: "nothing's wrong, you're fine, don't worry"
Me: "Well then if nothing's wrong and I'm doing fine, why don't you get off my back"
Supervisor: "Well what am I supposed to do? I'm your supervisor, I have to manage you..."
Me: "What are you supposed to do? I don't know, why don't you go fuck yourself?"
Supervisor: "...."
3 months previous to this event I had requested from his boss to be assigned to a new supervisor, and he said I would be "fine". It only got worse and I lost my sanity to the point where my supervisor made me have to swear at him. Either way, I had a nice little chat with my boss's boss, he tried to bitch me out, I held my ground, and then he informed me that to punish me he would assign me to a new supervisor. I faked a dissapointed-sounding :sigh: and accepted my "punishment".
Now I have a manager who is much older, knows what he's doing, actually helps me win business, and doesn't harass me constantly, let alone tell my co-workers who I'm "hitting" or not. Life is ok, but transportation still sucks. No future, no money, just an abyss of pointless chaos and stupidity.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Bartending School: Top notch education or silly rip-off scam artistry?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and surprise everyone with the statement that I'm not happy with my career. Yes, I said it.
I've been recently pursuing interests that stand outside the confines of Corporate America, but that it seems to have it's grasp on everything. Ideas that have come to mind include, but not limited to: major league umpire training, talent scout, firefighter, and jobs at companies that don't make you work very hard.
The other one is bartending. I feel like everyone has thought of this one, but I can't get past the fact that there are a ton of douche-bag bartenders in the world, and that I could be very non-douche-like. Oh, and if you're at the right bar, you make sick cash that you don't have to give to Obama*
So I contacted a Bartending School! YES!! $800 for 3 weeks training and "lifetime placement program" (OUCH). Here's how I see it. If I had $800, I wouldn't need a new job and I wouldn't be lowering myself to running around a narrow path to pour drinks for stupid drunk people who I will potentially have to jump over the counter to engage in physical hand-to-hand combat with. As much as I want to hurt people with my bare fists on a month to month basis, I just don't want to shell out $800 to do it when I could probably just read a book.
This wasn't a satisfactory response for the woman who calls the day of the tour to make sure you're actually going to show up. This alone tells me that they must have people cancel a lot. I told her she might have a higher turnout if she didn't refuse to give out basic information about their program (i.e. the cost) over the phone. She quickly made bad comments about other bartending schools, but what she didn't realize is that I stopped caring about 1 minute into the conversation. She then asked how I found out the tuition ripoff (cost)...I then informed her of an invention that Former Vice President Al Gore had created in the mid 1990's*
Scratch that one off the list. Maybe if you guys are right about me writing this blog then I could be free from the chains of finances and be set for life. But I won't hold my breath.
*Notes controversial comment, feel free to argue in the comments section, just don't expect a respectful or reasonable response, if any response at all. That's what therapists are for.
I've been recently pursuing interests that stand outside the confines of Corporate America, but that it seems to have it's grasp on everything. Ideas that have come to mind include, but not limited to: major league umpire training, talent scout, firefighter, and jobs at companies that don't make you work very hard.
The other one is bartending. I feel like everyone has thought of this one, but I can't get past the fact that there are a ton of douche-bag bartenders in the world, and that I could be very non-douche-like. Oh, and if you're at the right bar, you make sick cash that you don't have to give to Obama*
So I contacted a Bartending School! YES!! $800 for 3 weeks training and "lifetime placement program" (OUCH). Here's how I see it. If I had $800, I wouldn't need a new job and I wouldn't be lowering myself to running around a narrow path to pour drinks for stupid drunk people who I will potentially have to jump over the counter to engage in physical hand-to-hand combat with. As much as I want to hurt people with my bare fists on a month to month basis, I just don't want to shell out $800 to do it when I could probably just read a book.
This wasn't a satisfactory response for the woman who calls the day of the tour to make sure you're actually going to show up. This alone tells me that they must have people cancel a lot. I told her she might have a higher turnout if she didn't refuse to give out basic information about their program (i.e. the cost) over the phone. She quickly made bad comments about other bartending schools, but what she didn't realize is that I stopped caring about 1 minute into the conversation. She then asked how I found out the tuition ripoff (cost)...I then informed her of an invention that Former Vice President Al Gore had created in the mid 1990's*
Scratch that one off the list. Maybe if you guys are right about me writing this blog then I could be free from the chains of finances and be set for life. But I won't hold my breath.
*Notes controversial comment, feel free to argue in the comments section, just don't expect a respectful or reasonable response, if any response at all. That's what therapists are for.
Day 9,248 Hour 9 Minute 43
I'm only doing this because so many of you have requested it, however, I'd like to remind everyone that my life's goal isn't to be one of these guys. This is just one favor I'm doing for all of you. The goal of this blog will be to expulge the supposedly incredibly funny points of view, opinions, theories, conclusions, and concepts of my commonly perceived view on the world and life. I realize many won't agree, and I'm not here to convince you, but you guys wanted this, so now you have to deal with it.
Here goes, my blog:
First I'll try to sum up my life in a few brief paragraphs and then we can just go from there:
I was born March 11, 1983 and almost died of Meconium Aspiration Syndrome. I know this because my grandparents remind me of it everytime my birthday comes up. I basically grew up in a developing suburb of St. Paul, MN which eventually grew to a strong white uppper-middle class breeding ground and went to public school. Worked some summer jobs in high school, played baseball, yada yada yada....somehow got accepted into a college. If you look at my behavioral history in school, I really should've never had the opportunity, but life is funny that way.
College was much more like my cup of tea. Didn't make the baseball team in college (oh my god what now!!), so I discovered alchoholism. I almost killed myself from drinking too much on the power hour of my 21st birthday with a .30 BAC and a heart rate below 30 bpm, but I lived (hey coach, found a new sport, gave it 110%!!). Good times.
Got out of college after the 5 year plan, got suckered into Corporate America, made some money and blew it on stuff. Now I work for a company that screws over stupid people on shipping rates and hardly pays their employees what they're worth. But hey, there's a lot of that going around, something to do with the Economy.
I'm sure I'll elaborate more down the road, but I gotta start somewhere.
Here goes, my blog:
First I'll try to sum up my life in a few brief paragraphs and then we can just go from there:
I was born March 11, 1983 and almost died of Meconium Aspiration Syndrome. I know this because my grandparents remind me of it everytime my birthday comes up. I basically grew up in a developing suburb of St. Paul, MN which eventually grew to a strong white uppper-middle class breeding ground and went to public school. Worked some summer jobs in high school, played baseball, yada yada yada....somehow got accepted into a college. If you look at my behavioral history in school, I really should've never had the opportunity, but life is funny that way.
College was much more like my cup of tea. Didn't make the baseball team in college (oh my god what now!!), so I discovered alchoholism. I almost killed myself from drinking too much on the power hour of my 21st birthday with a .30 BAC and a heart rate below 30 bpm, but I lived (hey coach, found a new sport, gave it 110%!!). Good times.
Got out of college after the 5 year plan, got suckered into Corporate America, made some money and blew it on stuff. Now I work for a company that screws over stupid people on shipping rates and hardly pays their employees what they're worth. But hey, there's a lot of that going around, something to do with the Economy.
I'm sure I'll elaborate more down the road, but I gotta start somewhere.
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