Day 9,248 Hour 9 Minute 43

I'm only doing this because so many of you have requested it, however, I'd like to remind everyone that my life's goal isn't to be one of these guys. This is just one favor I'm doing for all of you. The goal of this blog will be to expulge the supposedly incredibly funny points of view, opinions, theories, conclusions, and concepts of my commonly perceived view on the world and life. I realize many won't agree, and I'm not here to convince you, but you guys wanted this, so now you have to deal with it.

Here goes, my blog:

First I'll try to sum up my life in a few brief paragraphs and then we can just go from there:

I was born March 11, 1983 and almost died of Meconium Aspiration Syndrome. I know this because my grandparents remind me of it everytime my birthday comes up. I basically grew up in a developing suburb of St. Paul, MN which eventually grew to a strong white uppper-middle class breeding ground and went to public school. Worked some summer jobs in high school, played baseball, yada yada yada....somehow got accepted into a college. If you look at my behavioral history in school, I really should've never had the opportunity, but life is funny that way.

College was much more like my cup of tea. Didn't make the baseball team in college (oh my god what now!!), so I discovered alchoholism. I almost killed myself from drinking too much on the power hour of my 21st birthday with a .30 BAC and a heart rate below 30 bpm, but I lived (hey coach, found a new sport, gave it 110%!!). Good times.

Got out of college after the 5 year plan, got suckered into Corporate America, made some money and blew it on stuff. Now I work for a company that screws over stupid people on shipping rates and hardly pays their employees what they're worth. But hey, there's a lot of that going around, something to do with the Economy.

I'm sure I'll elaborate more down the road, but I gotta start somewhere.